Their Toughest Choice
by PuertoRicanBelle
Summary: Ragnhild and Einar made several choices in their life together, from running away, to joining Drago's army, to unintentionally having a baby and having to hide her, they decide that abandoning her was the only way to keep their only daughter safe from Drago, and eventually, themselves. (See Left In The Night to know who raises baby Zyrah)


She had lost track of time… She lost track of how many days she was here, hidden away in this run down cabin. Coming here was a mix of willingness and hesitation. They had to stay hidden away. They had told a lie to survive.

"Ragnhild. Come inside, it's going to snow." Einar called from behind her. There was stew in the cauldron, fish stew. Ragnhild's gag reflex kicked into gear the moment the scent reached her nose.

"Einar. How many times must I tell you, I cannot keep fish stew in my stomach!" The raven haired man groaned and rolled his eyes, ladeling some stew into a bowl for himself and for her.

"That's not the only thing you can't keep in your stomach." He snapped at her, in regards of her heavily pregnant belly. Ragnhild glared at him with her steely gray eyes.

"That wasn't my fault!"

"It was both of ours, and we'll be facing the consequences when we get back."

"We cannot go back with a baby, Einar. Drago will have our heads and feed our carcasses to the dragons." Einar draped a fur blanket around her shoulders and handed her a bowl and sat in front of her.

"Look, Ragnhild. We've made mistakes, and we're just gonna have to punch through them like we always do. We made the decision to join his army. We ran away from home." Ragnhild sneezed and then sniffled, rubbing her nose and attempted to eat. She turned her head hearing a flock of ravens caw in the distance, barely hearing them over the screaming wind, blowing snow all around.

It was going to be a miserable winter, and Ragnhild was suffering, with this baby ready to come any day now. She was terrified. She was only 20, she had plans, she wanted to move up the ranks and gain Drago's trust, maybe become a commander of a smaller part of Drago's growing army. She liked her job, yes, it was dangerous and messy, but that's what she liked, it gave her an adrenaline rush.

The longest night of the year had passed, so the pair figured they were approaching the new year soon.

As a few more days passed, Ragnhild began to feel the pains. They would begin at the top of her stomach, and go all the way down to below her navel. They were minor at first, but as minutes turned to hours, they progressively became more painful and more unbearable.

Finally, she felt it.

"Einar…" She managed to gasp out. He looked up from his journals to see Ragnhild struggling to stand. He knew…

He scooped her up and carried her to the makeshift bed, covered in layers of fur and blankets. Neither of them had any idea of what to do, as they never knew anyone who had children or gave birth or had any of this kind of experience. They were riding on trust and instinct now. They were with each other from the beginning, and they were going to do this together.

He helped her remove her boots, socks and pants and underwear, wrapping her up in a thick blanket. There was another snowstorm outside and it was fierce, the door wouldn't hold it up for much longer.

"Easy love, you- we're gonna be okay. You can do this." Ragnhild nodded and shut her eyes at another contraction.

Einar spread her legs and watched the progress, still just about clueless, but trying to be supportive.

An untold amount of time passed, and then there was a shrill wail filling the air. Einar caught the newborn in a clean fur blanket.

"It's a girl Ragnhild…" He whispered, looking down at his daughter. He found a knife and crudely cut the umbilical cord and did his best to clean her off. He wrapped her up and handed her over to Ragnhild, who was sitting up now, looking like a complete wreck.

However as since they were inexperience and alone, they didn't know about the afterbirth and how messy it was. But once it was all over, they rested.

Their little girl was a perfect little blend of both of them. She shared Ragnhild's skin tone, but Einar's black hair, and when she opened her eyes, she revealed a pretty sky blue, a mix of Ragnhild's gray eyes and Einar's blue green eyes.

In that moment in time, there was a true moment of love with the little inexperienced family.

For the first month, Ragnhild and Einar did their best to keep their newborn as stable as possible. But as time passed, both began to notice the change of the weather. They began to remember what they told Drago.

" _We'll return by the end of the last frost."_

The end of the last frost was coming soon, and they still had to care for their newborn, whom they named Zyrah. She had the prettiest blue eyes and the sweetest little smile.

As Einar finished repairing their boat, Ragnhild swaddled up Zyrah and held her close against her chest. Ragnhild was having many conflicting feelings about what she needed to do, did she wanna give up her baby for her line of work? Or give up her work for the baby? But if she did the latter, knowing him, Drago would find them. He always found the runaways.

"Einar, we need a plan." Einar glared at her.

"No kidding genius."

"What can we do? I don't know if I wanna give her up…"

* * *

It was a tough decision to make, but Ragnhild had a better understanding of the situation better than Einar did. Even if the pair decided to leave the army, Drago would find them. And bringing the baby to Drago would result in death for all three of them.

At this point, there was only one option that was the safest.

"Einar." He looked to her from navigating the boat.

"Yes."

"We need to let her go." Ragnhild said.

"What?'

"She deserves a chance to live. She cannot be pushed into the same life as us. She won't survive to her first year if she stays with us. If… we let her go, at a place Drago is unlikely to find, she'll be safe, she'll have a chance." Einar joined her.

"Ragnhild… are you sure?" She nodded.

"I want her to be safe. She's our daughter, and at this point, this can be the only way to prove that we love her, even if we won't be with her to watch her grow up." Einar looked into Ragnhild's eyes, she was serious.

He sighed.

"The first island we find, we'll leave her on a doorstep and pray to the Gods and Valhalla that she'll be lucky." Ragnhild nodded, taking his hand into hers.

Ragnhild breastfed her only daughter for the last time that evening. It was well into the night by the time they saw the silhouette of an island come over the horizon. They docked their boat, and made their way through the village, finding a solitary house on a hill, and giving her a kiss on the forehead from each of them, Ragnhild and Einar sailed away, never looking back.

* * *

 **I thought I'd give Zyrah's birth parents a little more humanity. I hope y'all like this.**


End file.
